Extreme
by RGfI
Summary: It's weird. It's not normal; he can tell. And he really, really doesn't know why she has that effect on him, but she can always get the most extreme feelings out of him. One-shot, Will and Alicia. My first Goodwife fanfic, please read and review.


Disclaimer: I don't own The good wife, The good wife characters nor lines from the good wife's season three episode ten. I am simply a big fan.

I also don't own the songs "All you need is love" By the Beatles, "You're The One That I Want" from the movie Grease and "I guess that's why they call it the blues" which is a great, beautiful song by an artist I love very much, Sir Elton John. I recommend them all.

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><p>It's weird. It's not normal; he can tell.<p>

And he really, _really_ doesn't know why she has that effect on him, but she can always get the most extreme feelings out of him.

* * *

><p>Today was a bad day for her, definitely. He watched how she dealt with fear, and with the worst kind - the fear of losing a child.<p>

The minute he heard he rushed down to her apartment, not even thinking how complicated it might become, how Peter might be there, how he might be more disturbing than helpful. He wanted to help, to make it easier on her, to be there for _her_; but as he walked in he saw that it was already under control; Grace was found and the happy, relieved family hugged, fortunately not seeing him standing at the door. He slowly stepped back and stepped into the elevator, feeling sudden sadness.

He didn't know why; he just saw them so relieved and couldn't understand why could it mean bad news for him; but he had a weird, strong feeling that this is it.

The greatest relationship in his life is about to end. He has no place with this happy family; as much as he loves Alicia fiercely, with all his heart and soul, and even though he believes that if given the chance he could love Zach and Grace as his own children, he will always be the outsider.

He stepped out of her building to the cold street, the sky are almost as gray and heavy as his own heart. He slowly stepped into his car and swallowed, hardly. Sorrow filled his head and formed tears in his eyes, which he blinked firmly away; he is not allowed to cry, this is a long time coming thing. He was stupid to get involved in this the first place, and you always need to pay for your actions; so he inhaled deeply, and started driving.

He drove to his office, pictures of her floating in his mind, and while remembering some special moments they shared, he felt a little pinch of pure happiness in his chest.

He is a sane man, usually pretty stable (emotionally and physically) with two feet on the ground. Woman rarely has any effect on him, especially not that kind of effect.

Why is she different?! Why was he never able to get over her?! Why is she always so scared to do anything, to admit fear, sadness, love to him? And why was he so scared, all those years ago?

As a little, shiny, small tear fell on his cheek he swore to not shed another tear. He wanted to go back to his safe-zone, where he is comfortable. It's where he likes to be; generally, he's a bit distant, not becoming so emotionally attached to a lot of people; it's kinda lonely that way, but it brought him to where he is today.

He turned on the radio, getting tired of the deafening silence in his car.

_"To my heart I must be true! _

_Nothin' left, nothin' left for me to do. _

_You're the one that I want. _

_(you're the one I want), oooh oooh ooh -"_

Will groaned and switched the channel.

_"All you need is love, love._

_Love is all you need -"_

"All I need is a CD player," Will muttered, annoyed, as he switched the channel.

_"Don't wish it away,_

_don't look at it, like it's forever._

_Between you and me, I could honestly say,_

_that things could only get better._"

Finally something Will can identify with!

_"And while I'm away, dust out the demons inside,_

_and it wouldn't be long,_

_before you and me run, to the place in our hearts, _

_where we hide._

_And I guess that's why they call it the blues,_

_Time on my hands, could be time spent with you._

_Laughing like children, living like lovers, rolling like thunder under the covers._

_And I guess that's why they call it the blues._

_Just stare into space, picture my face in your hands._

_Live for each second, without __hesitation,_

_and never forget I'm your man."_

Will sighed as he reached his office. He turned off his car, and walked quite rapidly into the building. It was freezing cold, and all he wanted to do was to get busy with some cases and ignore the pain and the anticipation to the conversation he knew they are going to have.

It's not that he is a Pessimist; he is actually a quite happy, self confident person. It was just that their relationship had such little chances to work, with her children and state's attorney husband, and with him being her boss.

Besides, it wasn't a normal, healthy relationship; it almost felt like feelings are not allowed in it. Like they need to hold-back. He has to admit that she was the one who mostly held-back.

_Why? _He wondered as he took the elevator to the 28th floor.

Why was she holding back? Why couldn't she love him?

He actually thinks that she does love him; He hopes at least, but he is quite sure she does love him.

Then why couldn't she admit it? Is she ashamed? Scared? Unhappy?

"Oh Will! There you are. I just got a call about the McPherson case -"

"I'm sorry Diane," Will interrupted. "I have an... Important call to get in my office. I'm afraid it might take few hours."

Diane looked at him, amused. "Few hours! That's one important call."

"It is," Will forced a smile and walked to his office. "Important calls only," he mutters to his secretary as he closed his office door behind him. She raised a pair of quite confused eyes at him, surprised at his upset tone and nodded; but he was already in his office. He started to work on a case, refusing to let any thought to disturb him while he worked.

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><p>Half an hour passed and his secretary cautiously opened his door. "Alicia's here," she said quietly.<p>

Will swallowed hardly and nodded. "Send her in."

His secretary nodded and stepped backwards.

Will tried to find a comfortable place to sit on; he moved some papers from place to place, feeling so nervous that it almost hurt. He sat on the couch, then on his arm-chair, and when she finally walked in he felt all his last hopes fading as he simply looked at her agonized face.

"Hi Will," she said softly.

"Hi," he answered immediately. "It seems like I haven't seen you in a while."

Her facial expression didn't change, revealing her true feelings to him for the first time.

It was obvious now that she loves him.

And it was obvious now that it's over.

"I know." She said simply.

"I heard everything's good with your daughter," Will said, a soft attempt for a smile on his face as he stepped closer to her. He knew she was relieved as hell that her daughter was back; besides, she looked so sad, he had to step closer, cheer her up a bit.

"Yes, thank you." She said, and he noticed she's on the verge of tears. "Will," she whispered, the tears threatening to fall from her eyes. Will himself looked up to hide the fact that he is close to tears as well.

"Yes?" He asked, though pronouncing it like he is not asking a question, because he simply didn't want any answer.

She looked down, as not wanting to meet his gaze. She then looked up, shaking her head softly, her all body language saying she would rather be anywhere in the world but here, right now. "I can't. It's too much," she whispered, deep pain in her voice.

Will stepped forward, wrapping his hands almost intuitively around her, wishing for her not to cry, because he doesn't want her to be sad.

"I'm sorry," she whispered into his shoulder. He didn't answer. Instead, he stroked her back and closed his eyes, inhaling deeply, the sharp pain in his chest too hard to ignore. "I'm sorry," she said again. "I'm gonna miss you," she whispered, her voice breaking.

She finally gave in and let the tears fall freely on her cheeks. He grabbed on to her, trying hard not to cry himself. His heart sank, his chest tightened and he wanted to hold on to her forever, stay in this embrace, breath in her scent, never to let go of her.

When she pulled back, it was easy to notice her tears, even though she tried hard to wipe them. She walked rapidly out of his office, and he stayed standing and watched her walk away. When she was no longer in sight, he slowly moved and sat down in his armchair.

He simply gazed outside his window at the gray, cloudy sky.

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><p><em>"Wait on me girl, cry in the night if it helps.<em>

_But more than ever,_

_I simply love you, more than I love life itself."_


End file.
